Friday, December 19, 2008 1 comments

buhay kengkoy ni may+vie

may + vie ...bow
ang mga adventures sa buhay buhay nina "klarilyn MAY" and "shynne VIE"
(pahiram sa images kiara. this is my own version)

1. Kung may bagong specs sa system (nose bleed?)

2. Kung putol ang internet connection OR absent c francis (peace!)

3. Kung malapit na ang code-freeze o release

4. Pag may emails galing sa kataas-taasan o di kaya biglang nag pop sa YM (master yoda: "i dont want unpleasant surprises")

5. Pag may nakitang bugs (wam point!)

6. Kung applicable ang Philippine holidays

7. Kung hindi na-fix ng DEV team ang bugs tapos mas lalong nasira ang system after deploy

8. After release

9. Pag may nagdeploy ng walang paalam o biglang nag brownout at di na-save ang testscript/notes

10. Pag na-remember c edward cullen

11. Pag makapuntos ng bully points kay francis

12. Pag mag leave at mag-iimbento ng valid reason (hahaha)

13. Nagkakaganito ba tayo shynne? Hmmm...secret!

14. Pag nang-aaway ang DEV Team

15. Pag nag YM message c sir...kaka-lost

16. Pag galing lunch out

17. Pag walang tasks

18. Pag bibigyan ng increase

19. Ginagawa para ma postpone ang release (hurem hurem)

20. Pagkatapos ng di mabilang na overtime, biglang mag ro-rollback ng codes...super ULIT sa testing!

21. Pag nakalibre ng Choco hazelnut brownies ice cream. hehe

22. Weeee.....xmas parteeey?!?!

23. Pag maaga uuwi kasi may date

24. Pag kailangan mag overtime

25. Pag pinauwi dahil walang gagawin

Monday, December 15, 2008 0 comments

a good find


Fingers crossed, let me see a meteor fall tonight
So I can wish with the moon full and the stars, bright
A kiss from the breeze, a lonely, but hopeful heart
Ever I be so silent, consciousness torn apart
a transition, my decision, my invention
will is my shelter and hope, my foundation
It's just a dream, but bigger than the sky
almost at reach, but always too high
simple in a sense, complex in measure
there's discontent, and there's pleasure
it will last long, but never permanent
inch by inch done, but not to it's fulfillment
too intangible, but truly is inconsistent
but dream, I can dream to my heart's content
a state of brilliance, greatness, and happiness
a temporary immunity to hopelessness
I see the stars, I hear my heart beat.
I feel the air, and the dying afternoon heat.
I am alive, in a world built by my pen
a blink, I am lonely... a blink, I am happy again.


weekend DID list

•wash day...labadami!!!
•moved cabinets and boxes of old stuffs (right leg got scraped on a cabinet edge...OUCH!)
•gave our 6 dogs a bath
•haircut day for Fara (my dog)
•general cleaning sa mansion
•serious conversation with Papa about past, present and future tenses. hehe
•calamares...simo't sarap! nawala ang kapoy
Mama went to Davao and didn't came home. Clinton went to a retreat. So Papa and me are left at home with all the chores.

•recycled old xmas lights (na short circuit pa bitaw ko...buto! feeling kurentisyan man gud ba! hehe)
•climbed the tree to setup the lights (nagka pangos2x intawn)
•cut grass (de-mano ha!...kung baga...nang GUNA ko! Naluthan akong kamot...huhuhu)
•went for a quick visit in the cemetery
•fixed the lock in my room (panday-pandaot)
•shared a bottle of beer with Danding
•gave xmas gifts to the SIBOL kids of gawad kalinga

ANG SARAP NG WEEKEND!!! bahala ug daghan ug pangos...bahala ug pobre

Friday, December 12, 2008 0 comments


To a friend who finds a masked clown in himself,
...find that familiar landmark in the highways of despair

When the traffic light gets fucked up, take a walk
...there's no easy run

Carry your cross upon your shoulders
...and endure until you reach the closest beacon

I dont have the right words
...when you question the answers

People need to loose something along the way
...but it won't make less of a person

sorry for the short and quick YM conversation...
Thursday, December 11, 2008 1 comments

bitter half

for several weeks now i have drowned myself with test scripts, spec changes, bug IDs, rush emails, templates, and more brain-wrecking tasks! this is my i hate it and tomorrow i'll love it again.

Forwarded Group Message from our boss: "You'll get your salary for the 2nd half of the month on January 5"

What?!!!!!!!! Crap! It was delivered bluntly like we can't argue about it. I wished it was brought up in a meeting to discuss the reasons or explanations about that silly message.'s just not fair! And so I'm pissed off...could it get worse?! Crap...truckload of craps!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008 0 comments

china eyes

naaaliw ka ba sa singkit kong mga mata?
mukha bang nakangiti sa bawat tingin?
namumutawi mo ba ang kwento?

di sa lahat ng araw ay singkit ako
di rin ako chinita gaya ng iyong akala
di mo pa rin ba naalintana?

nauupos na ang yosi ko
at di mo pa rin makuha-kuha
mga mata ko'y mugto nang dahil sa'yo gago!
Monday, December 8, 2008 0 comments

untitled post

this is for my seatmate, shynne vie, who assumed that i am writing a blog entry today. hehehe. magsawa ka sa blank page! peace 'nyora (bully mode)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008 0 comments

the day i sat still

crap! yesterday, the rain poured in massive amount causing traffic, unavailability of public vehicles and flood.

it was late when i set off from work. most of the jeepneys have changed their routes to the south so it was an advantage for me. i got hitched easier than a usual day.

i was in the sasa area when i scavenge money from my pocket. it was when i realized i left my purse in the office. i tried my luck to find coins in my bag but i failed. so what's the plan now. i texted danding to head off first to our rendezvous so he can pay for the jeep. but then i texted him late, i reached my destination point without any penny. so here goes...i cleared my throat...

"manong, nabilin akong pitaka ba. wala jud koy coins dire" (i can barely remember if my voice was audible enough)

"naug na day"

gawd! busilak ang heart ni manong driver!!! i'm not sure if he murmured some words, i just stepped out of the jeep as fast as i could.
Sunday, November 30, 2008 0 comments


workin' my ass out on a sunday

Friday, November 28, 2008 0 comments

on twilight

For those who haven't watched the movie yet...better not read this entry.
Article contains movie spoilers

As I have mentioned in my previous blog, I got hooked with the vampire novel "TWILIGHT". Though I haven't really finished reading the e-book (source: Shynne), I guess I have already foreseen the possible scenarios. After a month, it was released in the big screen so I might as well find out the ending of Book1 in the cinema. I had high hopes and expectations for the movie.

I'll rate the movie 4 out of 10 (mabubusing kritiko!). The cinematography isn't that good. The story isn't explained very well. I liked it more when i was reading it. And one more thing, I can't concentrate because people kept on screaming in the jam-packed theater. Okay, got to work...ta-ta!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 1 comments


"a blink, I am lonely... a blink, I am happy again" -anonymous

i am just tired...all drained up in a way! please let me deal with this for myself, just now. i know that i can give more and more of much as you want and need. but this time...i'd wave that white flag...just this time because...
Monday, November 17, 2008 0 comments

fished off

Last Friday, the PAG-ASA issued a statement to cancel all the boat trips to Samal because of the Storm "Tonyo" that is said to hit Davao in Signal #1. I received messages in the morning but I ignored it. Later on, I received calls from my parents so eventually I am told to go home and catch the last trip.

It was all in the wrong timing because the project that I am testing is scheduled for a release and there were several critical issues that needs to be fixed ASAP. I can't risk my task and I can't risk my safety either. I went home.

In the pier, people were cramming. Everyone wants to get a seat on the bus.

While I'm waiting for the next trip, i was feeling the gush of the wind. There's no sign of a storm at all. The skies are clear. The sea is calm. Well, nature could be unpredictable at times so I trusted the weather forecast. When I got home, my thoughts are still stuck in my PC monitor...testing! The message of my boss in YM kept rewinding in my head. GAWD!!!

In the evening, I stared on the skies. Stars were all scattered and Mr. Moon is shining. Is this some sort of mockery?! Then I received the news that it was all a false alarm. The boat trips resumed in the evening. Heck! I should have stayed at the office! Anyway, I am thankful that there's no storm....but then again I should have stayed in the office.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 0 comments


It's day 3 of reading "Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer.

I dont' usually read novels, i mean i really don't. I prefer short stories or poetry. I don't have patience in unravelling word by word the every detailed-description of the character's face, body movement and surroundings.

Edward Cullen, the perfect looking guy in the novel somehow caught my attention and is worthy enough to trash my short patience for a while.

Okay, just a piece of revelation. I have weakness over guys with "suplado" and "antipatiko" effect. Ignoring me would be a plus factor, that way you got my attention and interest. It's easy to find a nice guy in a crowd, believe me! This weird choice might be brought of my being "one-of-the-boys", i just know most of the tactics that's why i don't go for all the cheesy lines and predictable moves. surprise me darling!

Somehow i found the character of Edward Cullen come to reality in the form of Danding (sorry for name- dropping). Not that he got a pretty face but because of the gestures. The tone that doesn't question or suggest, but rather commands. The look and stare that makes all the invisible strings in my body move towards him or do of anything he says. The eyes that makes me tremble every time, damn! The feeling of being safe but somehow worries more about his condition rather than my open wound. And when he's intentionally hurting you, it doesn't even matter because it's him.

Background song: Alive - Frio
"Make me alive
Make me suffer
Make me feel"

incy wincy day

waaaaaaaaa... i think im sad :D (oh bakit may smiley pa?!)

truth is im not in the mood to crack jokes or share my exaggerated fairy tales today. i don't really know. this is bad! this is terrible! i suck when it comes to being sad.

i know, i folks would ask me "WHY"

besides the fact that i've been skipping dinner for more than a week now, i just have don't the energy today. i guess one factor of this feeling is my playlist (puro sad songs mehn!) or maybe its the weather. hmmmm...maybe it's the long hours here in the office or the frustrating workload loops.

my tear ducts are even experiencing abnormality! gawd! i'm not gonna cry...oh no not i (kanta yun di ba?). it's half of the day, i'll figure something out or i'll just make it through the day just like the usual.

coffee anyone?
Thursday, October 23, 2008 0 comments

test and destroy

Yesterday was a super toxic day sa work. Ang daming priority tasks for the upcoming demo on templates and release of News 7.3 version. Here's a hint of my job description:

•read project specifications
this includes drawing in your mind the possible input, output, navigation and over all actions necessary

•create test scripts and test plan in accordance to the provided specs

•prepare database queries for correct data storage and retrieval

•[ready for test signal] start preliminary test of UI

•thorough test using your created test script - Development Stage
Project clarifications exchanged via email
Checking system logs - this looks like binary number flashing in 1000 lines per minute (i assume), just like in the Matrix movie
Daily Compile-Deploy of developers

•[patch] test in Integration Stage
less issues are expected after bug clean-up in DEV Stage. Issues found are listed in bugtracker

•[release] test in Production Stage - the www site that can be accessed by the clients

•added enhancements requested by clients after demo

In general, we make sure that a project is bug-free and 100% functioning ;)
Too bad, may nakakalusot pa rin na bugs after our meticulous testing...grrrrr
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 0 comments


i hate banks!!! i hate the long long long hours of transaction

i don't like waiting
Monday, October 20, 2008 0 comments

sunday outback adventure

date: october 18, 2008
destination: from babak to kaputian, to white house in limao
attendance: me, danding, gerald
type of transportation: honda XRM

rock bolders along the under construction road to kaputian

white house in Limao

overlooking view sa among hacienda...hahaha


gerald ( you rald)
Friday, October 17, 2008 0 comments


shall we call it truce then?
you're there and i'm here
i'm waiting and you're dying
you're someone that i look forward for
i'm someone that you look back at
you're my tomorrow
i'm your past
how can we meet halfway?
how can we fill these space between us?

as i dream of you in the night
you daydream of me
even in time, we are halfway across
i hang on the stars
as you bounce from cloud to cloud
when will this world stand still?
so let the truth be told
that after all, our love remains the same

an ode to a Long Distance Relationship the sound of every goodbye tomorrow's rainbow
Thursday, October 16, 2008 0 comments

glib talk

today, i celebrate my 2nd year in "JACM Software Services" company. yupi!!!!! until now, they haven't figured out that they hired the wrong person...hahaha (kidding aside). i super duper love my workmates (no malice ha!).

•thank you to my coffee buddies every morning and afternoon
•thank you to gio for allowing me to touch jud ko kay wala nimo gi-block ang mga file hosting sites.
•thank you kay john sa baby back ribs...i feel so special (teary eyes)
•thank you to my lunch shared ice cream and softdrinks
•thank you sa mga friendships nako sa hotel...for all the favors
•thank you kay manong delio
•thank you sa yema and munchkins ni beth
•thank you sa toothbrush mate nko, si shynne
•thank you sa DEV team: john, oneal, eric, charles, francis
•thank you sa QA team: ren, beth, shynne
•thank you glaiza (ortigas team)...mahaba-habang XMLs na naman eto
•thank you sa mga bosings
•thank you sa buong JACM family

Wednesday, October 15, 2008 0 comments


click! click! click! goes his camera. Continuous shots. Capturing every angle. Then a clear image flaunted on his lenses. He saw her. And the camera rolled back to the drifted years of yesterday.

"I will be a photographer when I grow up! I will tour the world and capture every scenery in my camera. My pictures will be in a front page of a famous magazine. I'm gonna be famous", said by a boy with a funny haircut and in a tucked-in shirt.
"So that's you're dream huh? I guess I'm just gonna marry you", said the girl with a pony-tailed hair and a bunny in her right hand.
"You're silly! Who said that I'm gonna marry you anyhow? You're not even my type! I can't marry you .coz you got a big and loud-barking dog in your house. How am I suppose to visit you? You are allergic to flowers and you sneeze all the time. So how am I suppose to give you a dozen of roses? Besides, we are like brothers and sisters coz we go to the same school, same church, weekend outings, and in almost every event. And you got those big front teeth that annoys me a lot", he confessed while they were swinging in the park.
"Oh believe me you will be over me when I grow up! Mom said that I'm gonna be a pretty girl and boys will pile up in our door. But I told Mom that I'm not gonna give them any chances",
"And why is that?" he asked curiously.
"So you won't feel bad. I told you, I'm gonna marry you someday", she smiled.

Light flickered. His fingers were stuck over the camera button. His blood seemed to be stuck in his veins. He was frozen. His world crumbled. The words that he let go seems to be choking him...slapping his face. And all he could afford to say to himself is, "You're mom was right".
The camera rolled. The camera flashed. Time goes fast forward. And the task halted. He sneaked his camera into his bag. He started to walk away when unfortunately, he needs to be in a place he don't wanna be. But he needs to be a man. He needs to face his own battle. And so he stood in front of that door.
Steady. The walls seem to be mocking him. His battle ends there. He must leave. A dog bark echoed...a loud bark. A woman came running. She drove the dog away.
"Hey! Why are you here outside? Come in. Everybody's having fun inside", she said that triggered his ears. "Don't tell me you're leaving? I hired you for the entire day so you better get inside"
He turned. He sat down in the stairs. He was quiet. She folded the white gown and sat beside him. She joined his silence.
"I actually got my dreams, those that I told you before. I'm obviously did became a photographer. I've been touring different countries for the past years. And next month, I'll do the cover of a magazine", he said. Her heart went out of its phase.
"Oh those dreams! Yeah, I remember", she confirmed.
"But you see, those weren't really what I wanted. I would love to hear the bark of your dog as I visit you during the night. I would love to be sneezed at as I hand you a dozen of flowers. I would love to see you smile even with those big front teeth of yours. I would love to spend sunny Sundays with you in the park as our ice cream melts in our hands. I would love to join other boys to pile up in your front door. I would love to marry you! As I took pictures of you today, I envy the man that stood in the altar beside you. You were right, I grew head-over-heals for you as we grew up but it never came to never sank down in my head coz my lenses were capturing a different view. I made a portrait of you and me in my head, you were right close to me and yet I never felt that someone has already taken you away. The nearness of you seemed to overwhelm me with confidence. And the moment you stepped right of the car in a white dress, it was the first time that I felt the distance. I felt cold. I was away for two years. I embraced my dreams. And today, I broke my heart. Just for you to know, my dream actually is to be the man beside you in the pictures that I took today. It does feel bad."

puff daddy's bday

happy birthday 'pang
Friday, October 10, 2008 2 comments


"keep your words sweet in case there's a need for you to swallow them" -anonymous

Today, I am enlightened with how strong our words can be. I have always been careful. Mind over my mouth. But there are people that I don't get, will I ever?

Let me put it straight. Bringing up your past does not interest me. Just be mindful of posting in this interactive world. I will not get myself involve in a feud that I am not part of. I am just wondering how far will these public rants go on? Let's all be accountable of our actions. Respect begets respect.

beep beep beep

Ang pagsakay ng jeepney ay parte na ng makulay at mahaba kong paglalakbay patungo sa mundo ng mga drones (officemates ko. hehe). Mula pa nung college days, katuwang ko na ang jeepney mula Lunes hanggang Biyernes. Kaya naman klaro sa akin kung bakit jeepney and National Transport System ng Pinas.

Hilig namin mag abang dati ng "uso2x" na jeepney. Yung may nakakabinging volume level sound system, walang eksaktong route, nakikipaghabulan sa traffic officers at higit sa lahat mabilis magpatakbo. Pinagbawalan ako ng tatay ko sumakay ng "uso2x" kaso palihim pa rin akong sumasakay. Masaya kasi, halos kakilala mo na lahat ng pasahero. Di bale na kung gitgitan kayo, minsan nga napapakandong na lang. At kahit si manong drayber at manong konduktor ay nagiging kaibigan mo na o text mate pa! hahaha

At sa loob ng halos anim na taon, nagkaroon ako ng past time habang nasa kahong-de-gulong. Napapaisip ako sa bawat kwento ng pasahero o minsan ginagawan namin ng script ni Padz. At heto ang nagawa kong jeepney thesis. May iba't-ibang uri ng pasahero. Alin ka kaya sa mga eto:

•Open SesaMEN
These are men na naka open-legs kung umupo. Kahit gitgitan na ay deadma lang sila. I wonder how much space do they need for those ba? hahaha.

•Gooey Lovers
Not that I am jealous or envious of them ha. It's awkward to see lovers with oozing sweetness in a public vehicle as if they are in a private room lang. Kung may bitbit lang ako na sinturon, nakatikim na kayo ng tig iisang palo. Super eye-sore kayo. Well, this is on a personal level naman.

•Sleepy Sam
Eto ang mga pasahero na ipinagpapatuloy ang kanilang panaginip sa loob ng jeepney. Nakakatawang tingnan minsan habang binibilang mo kung ilang beses mahuhulog ang ulo nya. Parang knockout count sa loob ng boxing ring. hehe

Eto naman ang super ayaw ko na makasabay o makatabi. Yung tipong halos huhubaran ka ng kanilang mga mata. Hello? Kuya? Mahuhulog na mga mata mo oh! O baka gusto mong makatikim ng sundot sa mata! So a piece of advice to girls, wear comfortable clothes that would spare your skin some respect. ;)

•Mr/Ms Congeniality
Makwentong passengers. May times na nakakaaliw at may times na nakaka bwisit. Specially those conversationalist na hindi nakakahalata na ayaw mong makipag usap. Naalala ko tuloy si Mr. Pet Lover na ikinuwento sa akin ang life story ng kanyang mga alagang baboy.

•Head to Foot
Eto yung nakaka self-conscious na pasahero. Na parang may dumi ka sa mukha o something na mali sayo. At pansin mo na tinititigan ka nila from kuko to split ends.

•Loud Speaker
Passengers na nakikipag compete sa loud speaker ng jeep. Kung mag usap sila eh dinig ng lahat. Eto ang mga panahong I wish my headphones ako.
Monday, October 6, 2008 2 comments

afternoon swim

Yesterday, Sunday, we went for a swim. Me, Danding ang Gerald. For the past month, the three of us has been together in afternoon swim, buko-hunting, food trips, movie marathon, and of course beer sessions.

For a brief introduction, i will introduce these men. Gerald is one of my closest friends. He's the type that's easy to find and reach, and someone that i can talk to about anything under the sun. Danding is the complete opposite of Gerald, we've never been close friends, and he's not quite a talker or listener. The common denominator is that I l♥ve them.

Back to our afternoon swim. It's like were 10 years younger when we ran, splash, dive and play in the water. Then we would soak ourselves and share interesting conversations. Yesterday, Gerald spilled out his thoughts for the future. He told us his plans on going abroad. The part that I was deeply touched (secretly) was when he said that after 3 years he would come home, we're 26 by then, he would call me first. Well, we are both sure that we'll still be friends for all the years to come. Danding would just laugh when Gerald starts to exaggerate.

Right after the swim, we filled our tummies with barbecue. A perfect sunday!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 1 comments


waaaaaaaaaaa....september is almost over. im running out of days in the calendar.

i have this crazy but fun activity every year. i have to step on a new place once a year. 2004, i was in boracay; 2005 i was in camiguin, iligan, cagayan, bukidnon, 2006 i was in cebu and bohol; last year, i went to Lanao (right before the crossfire). and now the last quarter of the year is coming and i still come empty handed.

there's one place that comes to my mind. i really have to go to BATANES baby! i fell inlove with the place just by looking at pictures. i can imagine myself standing in the marlboro hills and sleeping in the stone houses. it's a perfect place for an escape and vacation baby!

so who's with me on this trip?! pautang dayon! hahaha

Monday, September 22, 2008 0 comments

plurk plurk

it's been a week since i got hooked with plurking -->
i'm anxious about my karma points. yes, we are making a big fuss about it in the office. more karma points means more bullying for me. hehehe

by the way, you can add me if someone out here has a plurk account --> search for "clarelen"

Friday, September 19, 2008 0 comments

science project

I used to be a science geek in my primary and secondary years. I dream of becoming a scientist and discover something that would change or save Earth. I even tried to make my very own microscope made out of scraps, also read science books from cover to cover, and excel in Science quiz bees. Oh childhood! Well, the excessive intake of alcohol in my growing up years could have damaged my brain cells and now I'm just not that nerdy anymore. So the point of this blog is to reminisce my science subjects (boohoo!).

One of the unforgettable lessons would be Galileo Galilei's Law of Free Fall. Yes, the theory of gravitational force causing objects to fall on a vacuum with consideration to the resistance of the object. Just a mind boggler, do people "Free-Fall" or somehow resist the "Pull of Nature"? I just thought that when I took the fall I had no control of things, it just happened. I was falling hard and fast, I tried to resist and somehow change my trajectory but the result didn't changed at all. My hypothesis was to end up in some softer grounds where it would hurt less. I was wrong, the conclusion of it was I keep ending up on same vacuum point, over and over again. Could Galileo be wrong?

Next would be Sir Isaac Newton's Third Law of Motion: Reciprocal Actions. The famous "in every action, there's an equal reaction" theory. Who could have miss this lesson? Again, I do have some doubts on this theory (no offense to you Mr. Newton). Believe me that it doesn't imply in most aspects of my personal life. Let's take for example two entities: boy and girl. Girl gives out emotional and physical actions and yet receives no equal reaction from boy. So how does this reciprocal action really works?

I know, i compared concepts of physic with actual life experiences. So do you think I could still be a scientist? Hahaha. The important thing is I did my homework for today, post a blog ;) And for my dear science project, I won't be needing a compass for direction because you are my north and I won't have to argue with all these science theories because I make my own conclusions with you.

connect the dots

sa markado mong balat
naiguguhit ng iba sa isipan ang kwento mo
nagagawa nilang husgahan ka

ang naka burdang pangalan
sya nga ba ang tunay mong minahal?
karapatdapat ba sya sa bawat dampi ng karayom?

ang palatandaan ng kapatiran
nangangahulugan bang magulo ang buhay mo?
ito ba ay dahilan para iwasan ka?

naiguhit ba nila ang iyong kalungkutan?
nasuklian ba ang iyong pagmamahal na di na mabubura?
ang nakikita lamang ay ang mga bakas sa likod ng hibla

mapaglaro ang tinta
kinuluyan ka ngunit di ka maipagtatanggol
hindi patas! at sadyang ganyan talaga...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 0 comments

memory cache

sa masikip at madilim na sulok,
sya ay naghihintay
tulad ng dati
tulad ngayon

sya ang katuwang nya sa tuwa
ang sumpungan ng mga lihim
ang kanyang isang-pitik na takas
ang kanyang kaligtasan

sya ang tila alkansya ng mga himugto
ng mga agiw at kalawang
ng mga lumilipas na oras
gaano ka na ba napapagod?

at sa masasayang araw na kasama ka nya
ang mga ngiti ay hindi para sa'yo
hindi dahil sa'yo
gaano na ba kasakit?

walang humpay na parusa
di nya nakikita na napapagod ka na
at dahil kailangan ka nya, babawiin ka sa sulok
na parang basura na ire-recycle

at magkaganun pa man, iniintindi mo
dahil alam mo ang lugar mo sa mundo nya
ako ba ay natagalan?
ako ba ay naging madamot?

sa pagkakataong ito,
andito na ako
andito para sa'yo wakas

para sa bisekleta ko na kinalawang na. at dahil madami na akong pinagkaka-abalahan, di ko man lang malinis-linis. sumasagi lang sa isip ko kung gagamitin ko, kung kailangan ko

Monday, September 15, 2008 0 comments

gulpi de gulat

[Round 1]
binabasa ang galaw ng kalaban

[Round 2]
inansayo ang footwork
tumapon ng ilang suntok
tinantya ang pagitan at bilis

[Round 3]
nangmanhid sa bawat suntok
tatanggap ng ilang suntok pa

at sa mga sumunod na rounds ay kakapusin na sa hininga
mag iisip at maghihintay ng pagkakataong bumawi
ibubulong sa sarili, "isang matinding uppercut lang!"
at sa isang ganting suntok na iyon, makakamit ang tuwa
na kahit papaano, tinamaan nya ang bumugbog sa puso nya
ang kasunod ng isang suntok na yun ay hindi na mahalaga
palarin man sya o hindi sa labanan sa loob ng kwadradong paraiso,
ay di bale na dahil patuloy pa rin naman syang mabubuhay
sa isang bigwas, kahit papaano naiganti nya ang kanyang sarili
di man nya naisigaw na "tama na" habang inuulan sya ng suntok
...tinapos nya ang laban
Friday, September 12, 2008 0 comments



i have to be in perfect shape, i mean my head should be! i am currently chatting with the head developer in New York. Since our team leader is on maternal leave, I am left with all these advisen tasks. I have my sympathy to Shynne, my co-worker, who shares the same burden with mine or even more.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008 0 comments

mission accomplished

after lunch, i stepped out from the office. i lied, i didn't went to the bank. so i'm spilling out the truth in this page

i went somewhere else, to the Davao City Law Office. (kasalukuyang gumagana ang isip mo kung anong ginawa ko dun). Letter A. Civil Marriage? enk! Letter B. Case matters? enk! of course not! Sige enough of the multiple choices. Truth is, i have to meet someone and eventually talk about some concerns.

<<---Rewind Back to 4 Months Ago---<<

A close friend of mine shared about his dreams. (Itago natin sa pangalang "Ryan") Ryan is married with 2 kids. Like a typical family, they have struggles. He went abroad for their so-called "greener pasture". But before he left, he entrusted me something (oh how i wish na kayamanan o last will of testament! hehe).

Ryan dreams of his first love. His first girlfriend back in high school. This happens often and it bothers him. He wakes up in the middle of the night or early in the morning with all the doubts in his head. Why dream of her?

Here's a slice of the story, he promised his first love to wait. That he'll return or something like that. For sure it was of pure intent when he said those words. But that was way back in high school. They parted ways after high school as they pursue their college education. I can't put all the details after that, all i know is somehow Ryan forgot about the promise. And thinking about it, "Who would keep a promise like that? Or who would hold to such promise?"

>>---Fast Forward to Present-->>

I walked the streets of Uyanguren, in search of a Law Firm, not minding the burning temperature. A stranger directed me to this old 3-storey building. I went upstairs with neither idea of the person I am about to meet nor practiced lines to spill. I am welcomed by the front desk secretary and required me information. "Of course I can't give my name 'coz she doesn't know me", I said to myself. So I said I am Ryan's friend. As the door of her office opened, I started to hesitate. But there are no "take-two" in this situation, aja!

I introduced myself as Ryan's friend. (I remember my team leader's first impression on my job interview: "NO EYE CONTACT".) So I battled out my shyness and establish all the eye contact and I even shook hands with her. My eyes somehow strolled around and noticed the table plate "Davao City Lawyer". Heck! This isn't a normal confrontation! (Pwede maulaw? or pwede mo-exit na lang?)

Moving on, I told her about Ryan's dreams. I dared to ask if somehow Ryan caused her some trouble or anything alike? If he broke some kind of promise? (imagine her reaction!) I was in the middle of my fast talk when she offered me a cup of coffee. Okay, she's nice...way nice! Not that of what i expect from a lawyer. She said, "I know him as a good person. Tell him that I am fine, I am happy for him, and that he should be good in Singapore. There's nothing to be bothered about". Whew! I guess it was a mission accomplished.

To my friend, have a good night sleep ;)
Monday, September 8, 2008 0 comments

loop of fate

for(us=lifetime; us<=infinity; us++)
alert ("More or Less?")

i could not deny all those stolen glances of you
and the silent giggles of my heart when you look back

i am becoming more selfish everyday
wanting more and more of you with each goodbye

we knew better, this and that might not be enough
let not the endless battle of reasons consume us in this rhapsody

soon enough, everything will break
leaves will wither, winter will take over summer

love will grow cold, but believe in us
in the magic we have that everyone else tried to dispel
i love you still
more than this lifetime holds

//mind scribbles of kaY 09/08/2008

Friday, September 5, 2008 0 comments


unbelievably sad
Thursday, September 4, 2008 1 comments

counting crows

numbers make me sick, literally and figuratively speaking. O_O

i remember in first grade that i suck in the "as many as" lesson. crap! the '0' red mark on my paper zoomed in and out in my sight over and over again. that was an easy lesson, how could i not figure that out! more crap! i did good in school anyway ;)

want more 'back-to-the-past' memories? fine, a whole lot more of crap loads to come.

in college, i became a 'Houdini' in getting a 5.0 grade (FAILED). A 5.0 in your TOR is bad for the eyesight when you're applying for a job. It's like an unpaid debt that
will haunt you down for the rest of your career (i'm exagerating here). So right before my algebra teacher give me that grade, i dropped out of class. swoooooosh...whew! the problem now is the 9.0 grade (FAILED, which is better than FAILED. This is where my father comes in to the rescue, he manipulated my school records and permanently got rid of that 9.0 (off you go to the recycle bin!). And now I can have a clean start.

My nightmare didn't end there, too bad. Here comes my accounting class, which I really have to pass. Since the first and second generation of the family tree are all accounting grads, the pressure is on me (boiling hot pressure!). The subject failed to grab my interest (i have high standards..hahaha). I come to class only on Thursdays only, a suprise quiz day. Yeah, call it a surprise! I don't even take exams because I prefer the special exams in essay, which would only require me to answer in 200 words per question
(a whole lot better for me!). i passed anyway ;)

In my fourth year, our math teacher required us to create a program for special mathematical formulas, matrices, etc. Since I took up Computer Science, this is just an expected scenario. I have to take off my Houdini's robe this time, no more tricks on my sleeves. This was a different situation for me, i loved math this way. More love came when i created programs for my classmates in P300-600 for simple applications and P4000-10,000 for a system. Oh business is doing great! hahaha.



i spent almost 30 minutes writing a blog entry in my multiply account. i hit the save button with a smile just to realize that my session has expired and i am logged out. everything is gone, gone, gone. (multiply BUANG!!!!!!!!!!!!)



woohoo! another blog site for me. my other sites were dull, forgotten and closed.

first reason of having this is because i am spying on someone's blog. hahaha...i know, it's an insane reason! i just figured why not have one for myself. so here it is! ka-ching! :D