Wednesday, October 15, 2008


click! click! click! goes his camera. Continuous shots. Capturing every angle. Then a clear image flaunted on his lenses. He saw her. And the camera rolled back to the drifted years of yesterday.

"I will be a photographer when I grow up! I will tour the world and capture every scenery in my camera. My pictures will be in a front page of a famous magazine. I'm gonna be famous", said by a boy with a funny haircut and in a tucked-in shirt.
"So that's you're dream huh? I guess I'm just gonna marry you", said the girl with a pony-tailed hair and a bunny in her right hand.
"You're silly! Who said that I'm gonna marry you anyhow? You're not even my type! I can't marry you .coz you got a big and loud-barking dog in your house. How am I suppose to visit you? You are allergic to flowers and you sneeze all the time. So how am I suppose to give you a dozen of roses? Besides, we are like brothers and sisters coz we go to the same school, same church, weekend outings, and in almost every event. And you got those big front teeth that annoys me a lot", he confessed while they were swinging in the park.
"Oh believe me you will be over me when I grow up! Mom said that I'm gonna be a pretty girl and boys will pile up in our door. But I told Mom that I'm not gonna give them any chances",
"And why is that?" he asked curiously.
"So you won't feel bad. I told you, I'm gonna marry you someday", she smiled.

Light flickered. His fingers were stuck over the camera button. His blood seemed to be stuck in his veins. He was frozen. His world crumbled. The words that he let go seems to be choking him...slapping his face. And all he could afford to say to himself is, "You're mom was right".
The camera rolled. The camera flashed. Time goes fast forward. And the task halted. He sneaked his camera into his bag. He started to walk away when unfortunately, he needs to be in a place he don't wanna be. But he needs to be a man. He needs to face his own battle. And so he stood in front of that door.
Steady. The walls seem to be mocking him. His battle ends there. He must leave. A dog bark echoed...a loud bark. A woman came running. She drove the dog away.
"Hey! Why are you here outside? Come in. Everybody's having fun inside", she said that triggered his ears. "Don't tell me you're leaving? I hired you for the entire day so you better get inside"
He turned. He sat down in the stairs. He was quiet. She folded the white gown and sat beside him. She joined his silence.
"I actually got my dreams, those that I told you before. I'm obviously did became a photographer. I've been touring different countries for the past years. And next month, I'll do the cover of a magazine", he said. Her heart went out of its phase.
"Oh those dreams! Yeah, I remember", she confirmed.
"But you see, those weren't really what I wanted. I would love to hear the bark of your dog as I visit you during the night. I would love to be sneezed at as I hand you a dozen of flowers. I would love to see you smile even with those big front teeth of yours. I would love to spend sunny Sundays with you in the park as our ice cream melts in our hands. I would love to join other boys to pile up in your front door. I would love to marry you! As I took pictures of you today, I envy the man that stood in the altar beside you. You were right, I grew head-over-heals for you as we grew up but it never came to never sank down in my head coz my lenses were capturing a different view. I made a portrait of you and me in my head, you were right close to me and yet I never felt that someone has already taken you away. The nearness of you seemed to overwhelm me with confidence. And the moment you stepped right of the car in a white dress, it was the first time that I felt the distance. I felt cold. I was away for two years. I embraced my dreams. And today, I broke my heart. Just for you to know, my dream actually is to be the man beside you in the pictures that I took today. It does feel bad."