Tuesday, July 30, 2013 0 comments

MusicBoxDiary: trulaloo

Pink feat. Lily Allen

Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say,
Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face.
There's no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down,
I know life would suck without you.

At the same time I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck.
You're an ******* but I love you, and you make me so mad I ask myself
Why I'm still here, or where could I go? You're the only love I've ever known, but I hate you, I really hate you, so much I think it must be...

True love true love
It must be true love
Nothing else can break my heart like true love
True love, it must be true love
No one else can break my heart like you

Just once try to wrap your little brain around my feelings
Just once please try no to be so mean
Repeat after me now R-O-M-A-N-C-E
Come on i'll say it slowly (Romance)
You can do it babe

At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck
You're an ******* but I love you
And you make me so mad I ask myself
Why I'm still here, oh where could I go
You're the only love I've ever known
But I hate you
I really hate you, so much
I think it must be

True love true love
It must be true love
Nothing else can break my heart like true love
True love, it must be true love
No one else can break my heart like you

[Lilly Allen]
Why do you rub me up the wrong way
Why do you say the things that you say
Sometimes I wonder how we ever came to be
But without you i'm incomplete

I think it must true love true love
It must be true love
Nothing else can break my heart like true love
True love, it must be true love
No one else can break my heart like you, like you
No one else can break my heart like you


This is the perfect song!!! Just saying. 
This will be in my daily playlist - looped until day out.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013 0 comments

night drops

Up Dharma Down

I feel like a runway
Every time you take flight
Take a plane to Mexico
We keep missing the right turn
And head for the wrong
We keep blaming it on circumstance

Blame it all on circumstance
Blame it on the circumstance
Blame it on the circumstance
Im so tired of your innocence

Come back when you're done saving the world
Come back when I'm done knitting your cape
Come back when you're done saving a life
Come back when you're done pushing the mountains
And blame it on the circumstance

Are we up to no good? 


images from uddcommunity


i don't have words

I haven’t seen you for more than three weeks now. Missing you has finally taken its toll on me. Sadness is piling up in my doorsteps and I think it’s about time to open the door and face it.

What happened? Why? Would you please tell me and make me understand.

I decided not to share to the world what happened because I have a strong conviction that everything will pass quickly. You will bounce back to reality that you’re home is here in my heart. I was so sure that’s why I gave you the space and time you asked for. You needed it. You asked for it. I can’t be selfish. But giving you time and space does not mean letting you go - no, so don't consider the thought of letting me go as well.

I kept praying that I often fall asleep praying. I pray that you will be reminded of me, that you will think me of each day so you won’t forget that God has bounded us because of love. I pray that these pains will not prolong any longer. I pray that God will give me strength because I feel weak every time – every time I remember your words of quitting. Don’t quit on me! We must not get tired of loving.

I worry that if people would know - they will judge you unfairly. There’s an 98% chance that they will take my side. They might not understand you the way I do. They might give you cold stares and call you names – I don’t want that to happen. I wanted to protect you from all that because I know you best – maybe you're just having an episode - you must have a good reason to call it quits. I can't let you get hurt. I can't let you suffer. So for now, I will return a smile when people ask me about you (this means almost every day! crap!) and dodge giving out hints that we are not okay.

I tried to conceal the pain, i really did. I tried not to cry. I tried not to frown. I tried not to be mad at you. I tried not to talk about it because I don’t need other’s sympathy – that won’t help at all. The last thing I need is the pitty of people that matters to me – please have confidence in me that I will sort this all out and I will be fine. I tried not to write (know that writing is my remedy and stopping myself from writing is like refusing treatment) about it either because it will only materialize my thoughts and feelings – I will only have something to read over and over again that would remind me of the feeling. But my hopes are already falling short. And here I am – giving in to the urge of writing because all I have now are words.

I might have expected too much from you. Yes, I expect you to be by my side, I expect you to choose me, I expect you to run to me whenever I need you, I expect you to keep your words, I expect you to be there in my future – but that doesn’t seem to be case now right?  I am dead scared I guess – I guess, I haven’t put a lot of thought on it.

Now I can’t avoid the questions running in my head. Have you really given up? Have you completely shut yourself from me? Why? Don't I have a say in this - because I never agreed on this breakup! Will you really choose to hurt me and yourself? Will you endure all these for what? If you are hurting yourself in this process then please stop – please. This doesn’t benefit the both of us. Are you doing fine? Do you have someone to talk to about your thoughts and about your day? Are you okay with work? I actually think that I can ignore the past weeks and erase it like it never happened and I will still gaze at you the same way with hearts drawn all over my face. 

And today, I insisted to see you and insisted that I will wait until you show up. I was nervous because at the back of my head I know that there's a huge possibility that you won't show up. But I should not waver. You didn't reply to my invitation but I am willing to gamble the chances. So I went to the rendezvous early. Finally you cared to reply - declining my invitation because you will spend an overtime at work. That's your reason?!!! I said that I'll wait until you're done with work and then you replied a cold message - "sorry, now not please". You got to be kidding me! What a selfish prick to only think of himself and not consider the feelings of the person who held on to you for years - a person who has complete faith on the man in you! But then again, I can't be overwhelmed by these feelings (shake head) - you have reasons and one day I'll be able to hear them out.

Okay, I can't push it any further so I decided to go home alone. I kept rewinding our exchange of messages and I sensed that you might be in a not-so-good situation. Maybe you are really busy with work and thinking over a girl waiting would just mess things more - I can't put you on that torture. Maybe you are not ready to face me. Maybe there's really something going on. I'm not sure about a lot of things but there's one I am certain of - today it was clear and accentuated... I am hurting.

So the jokes on me, darn! Why? Because I still tell myself not to give up just yet – not yet! I will endure a little more. I will see it through the end – and satisfy myself that I waited enough and beyond for you. I just wish you cared. That would have been nice. And guess what, I will not care to look foolish at all. It is my happiness that is at stake here and I should have a firm grit (Clench the teeth in order to keep one's resolve when faced with an unpleasant or painful duty). There's a time for my tears to fall but not today, not today.

Tonight, the heavens cried on my behalf...

Monday, July 22, 2013 0 comments

Love Phobia

 What is PURE LOVE, asked by a little boy named Jo-Kang to his father. The father hardly found the right words but somehow explained it in perfect sense -

"Pure love is when you love one person for the rest of your life"

Another Korean movie to remember. Cuteness of the child characters - checked! Butterflies in your stomach - checked! Giggles of laughter - checked! The guy that sweeps you off your feed - checked!

Although, I didn't cried over this movie I must still say that the story was touching. Actually I felt terrible and at some point I hated the hospital for the tragedy that Ari (lead woman) has to survive. But what are her choices really?

“Love is remembrance... Sometimes, I open up my chest of memories, hoping to keep them locked in my heart forever.” 
-said by the grown up Jo-Kang

Saturday, July 20, 2013 0 comments

NOW could be Better than Good

To kill the traffic in my head, I stay awake because sleeping doesn’t help at all. Even in dreams I think of the same things that I think of when I’m awake.

While wide awake, its either I write or I watch movies. And since I got a long list of pending movies to watch – thanks to my dear friends who does the downloading part :) , I decided to watch this one movie until 2:00 AM. So,  I’ve crossed-out one movie from my list this month – NOW IS GOOD.

Okay, for a brief background here – I kind of like the type of movies where the protagonist dies in the end. The likes of Moulin Rouge, Sweet November, Devdas (Indian movie), Atonement, If Only, My Sister’s Keeper, Titanic (of course!) and the list goes on. So, as early as now you know that in the movie “Now Is Good” someone’s going to die in the end. Hahaha. SPOILER!!!

NOW IS GOOD stars Dakota Fanning whom I grew to adore since her Charlotte’s Web days. She starts the movie with the lines – 

MOMENTS. This is one. This – right here, right now is definitely a moment. Anything could happen next.

Those lines caught me. That was it! I was drawn to the movie.

Okay, it’s a story of a girl who’s dying with leukemia and before her time is out she creates a list of the “crazy” things she wanted to do before she go. The list includes drugs, sex, breaking the law, and more. Well, I get her – of course a dying person would want to accomplish something that a healthy person would do. Dakota’s character as Tessa is conventional. Her father is a cancer-freak who never gives up on finding ways that would cure her – he mastered all the about the sickness but failed to see his daughter. Her mother left, never attended any of her chemo-sessions, never witnessed her break down with blood gushing out from her nose. Her younger brother seems to care or not – he casually accepts the fact that his sister is going to die some day that is why she doesn’t bother spending time with him. Her best friend is her accomplice in fulfilling her list – she’s a little damaged – who accidentally got pregnant and wanted an abortion. So it’s a mess really. 

Then comes Jeremy Irvine’s character as Adam. He noticed Tessa. He spent time with her. He didn’t make her feel helpless because of her sickness. He made her laugh, love and alive. 

Tessa to Jeremy: “I was wrong. You can’t save me!” – Beautiful line in the beach scene!

Jeremy even made the most impossible item in Tessa’s list to reality – FAME. Tessa wanted her name to be written in the world so she wouldn’t be forgotten. Jeremy spent an entire night writing Tessa’s name in the entire neighborhood’s walls – that’s what we call vandalizing!

Then comes the dying part. There’s not much drama – not much difference with other movies where the lead character dies. The story was told in a simple and realistic view. By the way, the story did not focus on the list – she did not even fulfil it halfway. But for me, the most captivating part was Tessa’s conversation with her father –         

Father: He might let you down (pertaining to Adam)
Tessa: He won't
Father: What if he does?
Tessa: I'll still have you...like always

The floodgates went down. I broke to tears – terribly! Yeah, I had my cry baby moment for almost a minute there. Bollocks! I guess so, things will turn out that way huh? Okay, moving on...

On Tessa’s remaining minutes, moments were flashing – moments in a parallel world where she’s not sick where she was able to take meals with her family, a world where she was able to spend more time with Adam, and a world where she witnessed her bestfriend giving birth (she’s the reason why the abortion didn’t pushed through). As these moments where flashing, these lines were told – 

Life is a series of moments. Let them go. Moments all gathering towards this one.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013 0 comments

GO-TO places

Whenever i am having a mood swing, i find remedy in my so-called happy places. a bad day turns better. i get to think. i get calm. clouded thoughts and emotions seems to disappear for awhile.

GROCERY - oh i love doing groceries!
it excites me so much to run over each section and choose what to buy. my mind suddenly plays fast forward thoughts on what i would cook and whom i would buy something for. believe me, i am an expert in doing groceries (winks).

Whenever I get lost in this section I always end up overspending. Ka-ching! Ka-ching! My eyes turn $_$
I love collecting materials for scrapbooks. Ideas on my next do-it-yourself project or any artwork suddenly enters my mind.

All the planning ideas seem to be some kind of therapy for me. I like window shopping in hardware stores for new paint color, new floor tiles, new materials for our house. I don't tend to buy actually - I just waste away some time. The only annoying part in window shopping is the sales attendant that keeps following you :)

Other places that soothes bad vibes are:
FOOD PLACES - a happy tummy = happy me

Monday, July 15, 2013 0 comments

MusicBoxDiary: I Was Here - Beyonce Knowles

Beyonce Knowles

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time  
Know there was something that, and something that I left behind 
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets, to  
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget
I was here  
I lived, 
I loved  
I was here  
I did, 
I've done, everything that I wanted 
And it was more than I thought it would be  
I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here
I want to say I lived each day, until I die  
And know that I meant something in, somebody's life  
The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave  
That I made a difference, and this world will see
I was here I lived, 
I loved 
I was here  
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted  
And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here 
I lived, 
I loved  
I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted  
And it was more than I thought it would be  
I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here
I just want them to know  
That I gave my all, did my best  
Brought someone to happiness  
Left this world a little better just because
I was here
I was here 
I lived, 
I loved 
I was here  
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted  
And it was more than I thought it would be I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know I was here.
(I lived), 
I lived (I loved), 
I was here (I did), 
I did (I've done), 
I was here (I lived), 
I lived (I loved), 
I loved I was here
(I did), I did (I've done)
I was here

Thursday, July 11, 2013 0 comments

selfie in the cinema

Have you ever gone out to watch the movie by yourself? If yes, have you been into the cinema where you are the only person watching the movie?

I bet you haven't! Well oh well, I will pride myself that I have watched a movie yesterday all by myself. And this means I was the only person in the movie house. Hahaha. Thinking about it is a little creepy and stupid but I was out there to feel better. I wasn't feeling well for the week and spending more hours in my work desk would worsen my case. So I packed up my things and went out from work early. I picked a local movie because I was oozing with "jologs" hormones yesterday.

I decided to watch a movie rather than going straight home because it would make me feel better, really. Movies are some sort of remedy for me. In between the almost 2 hours I felt stupid because I cannot laugh at the movie I am watching because I may seem crazy to be laughing by myself. I even kept looking in the right, left, back and front seats to check if I have some company but nah - I was totally alone. Somehow it felt cool because it seems I rented the entire movie house for myself. 

When I went out from the movie house - I felt stupid again for being alone. Hahaha. Well, I enjoyed having a fool of myself.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013 0 comments

the minions did it again!

If you're a stranger in this blog, then I have to say that I am an avid fan of the MINIONS from the movie Despicable Me. In our office Christmas presentation last year, we even tried to mimic the Banana video of the minions - go check here.

Last week, the Despicable Me 2 was up for showtime in the cinemas. And do you think I would let the week pass without seeing Gru, Agnes and the Minions?! Oh hell no!!! So my friends in the office reserved seats right away and we watched the movie together. Our laughs were louder than the kids. Hahaha.

Movie Review: If you're a child at heart then you will love the movie for sure. There's no other way but to enjoy the movie. The cuteness of Agnes! The craziness of the Minions! The not-so-evil stunts of Gru! And to those who haven't seen the movie yet - here's a peek on what you are missing - Minions MV.

And aside from watching, McDonald's has a treat for the minion fans out there. 9 collectible minion toys are up for grabs if you order McDonald's Happy Meal. So what else did I do? For almost a week all I had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner are McDonald's Happy Meal.

Yesterday, my Monday Sickness strikes again - Severe Headache + Nausea + Flu.
And who came to my rescue?