Crap! I am never good with goodbyes...never. For some sentimental reasons, I run. And the hard part is knowing that the person leaving is waiting for me to acknowledge her goodbye. I don't have the balls. So I tortured myself and swallowed the pain of punishing you...punishing you with my selfishness and punishing you by not giving the right gestures.
Some people stay, some people go...that's a fact in this life. We can't keep everyone we love boxed in the world we created. Everything changes. And believe me that it happens fast right before your eyes while wanting things to linger a little bit more...a day more, a minute more.
This explains why I settle in my hometown, in the house I grew up, with my same old friends, with the first job I got, wear the pants my sister bought no matter how rugged and how many patches it has, and more. This isn't about loyalty...oh no. This is about me sticking...staying...being the same...being still...and learning the lesson that everything is constantly moving and changing. And believe me when I say that I don't have problems with letting go. This world is small and we'll cross our roads sometime soon.
This is me saying goodbye. No exchanged words and no sentimental moments. I have witnessed plenty of goodbyes in the past and no matter how often this happens, it always bring new pain. So, no worries because I'd be in the same place when you look back. So what difference would it make if I told you that I'm going to miss you, that it will be hard without you, and that it will never be the same? Let's just not make it harder.
I won't defend the actions I have taken because I know that I was cold, cruel and rude. Sorry. But again, know in you heart that I wish you well and I'm still here. This is all I can afford.