Temporary Low

How much more can this heart handle?
How many goodbyes are there?
How many bonds to untie?
How many wrong turns to take?
How many falls to break?

Lord, I have stitched back all the pieces for a very long time
I was never been the same but I was able to hold all the pieces together...somehow
I rely on these breakable threads to hold all of what was left of me
I ask You Lord to keep these threads strong as I face all these waves
I wont dodge and I wont run...im keeping my faith

Streams

Crap! I am never good with goodbyes...never. For some sentimental reasons, I run. And the hard part is knowing that the person leaving is waiting for me to acknowledge her goodbye. I don't have the balls. So I tortured myself and swallowed the pain of punishing you...punishing you with my selfishness and punishing you by not giving the right gestures.

Some people stay, some people go...that's a fact in this life. We can't keep everyone we love boxed in the world we created. Everything changes. And believe me that it happens fast right before your eyes while wanting things to linger a little bit more...a day more, a minute more.

This explains why I settle in my hometown, in the house I grew up, with my same old friends, with the first job I got, wear the pants my sister bought no matter how rugged and how many patches it has, and more. This isn't about loyalty...oh no. This is about me sticking...staying...being the same...being still...and learning the lesson that everything is constantly moving and changing. And believe me when I say that I don't have problems with letting go. This world is small and we'll cross our roads sometime soon.

This is me saying goodbye. No exchanged words and no sentimental moments. I have witnessed plenty of goodbyes in the past and no matter how often this happens, it always bring new pain. So, no worries because I'd be in the same place when you look back. So what difference would it make if I told you that I'm going to miss you, that it will be hard without you, and that it will never be the same? Let's just not make it harder.

I won't defend the actions I have taken because I know that I was cold, cruel and rude. Sorry. But again, know in you heart that I wish you well and I'm still here. This is all I can afford.

[bucket_list] for 2011

[x] Open a personal bank account and another one for my brother.


[x] Go back on scrapbooking

[x] Buy something expensive for myself.

[x] Celebrate D's bday together. He loved the swordfish sashimi ^_^


[x] Write a letter for D.

[ ] Buy/Read a book
1. Thousand Years - Donald Miller
2. The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin
3. Vagabonding - Rolf Potts
[ ] House Renovation Phase II
[ ] Go somewhere in Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao
[ ] Invest on something
[ ] Get a complete physical exam
[ ] Buy glasses
[ ] Get a passport

This is it

I'd like to keep everything private, as much as I would like.

But it feels like it's bursting out of my chest. It shows. I even sound different ^_^
We have a great start this year. I love the movie dates, dinners, walk home, going home together after work, doing more stuffs together, the plans, and I could make a long list my dear but all I wanna say is just "iloveyou" - beyond whatever these words mean.

For all the days to come, I would still do. Because for all the people I get to meet and know for the past 26 years of my life...only you have touched me in a way that no one will ever do.

This is just a teaser of my birthday gift to you...more to come!

rebuilding the ruins

I'd like to thank my father for letting me do the painting & designing -as always...you've given me much freedom in all the things I'd like to do, in what you think I can do, and you wanted me to do. Thanks to my brother for doing most of the guy stuffs. Thanks to Mama for watching & checking.
So I'd say...its a home sweet home

Early this year - construction began

Divided my old big room into 2 rooms

Replaced the front wall

French windows

My hang out place with new overhead kitchen cabinets

Extended roof & ceiling of front house

Painting of the roof by brother & Papa

Indoor painting (Kay)

Doing all the details

Finished! Summer Sunshine theme ;)


Chill out with my dog - Fara. She loves my room :)




P.S. If you're wondering where all my money ends...please scroll up :)

nem·e·sis

nem·e·sis (noun) - A source of harm or ruin


To you,

You've completed your oh-so-famous scheme and having me as the victim this time. Sending a report in my behalf is something I did not expect. Maybe because I have laid all my cards down - trusting and being friends with you. I won't overrate things but it was a FOUL move, truly is. And the worst thing is you won't admit that what you did was wrong, you have your reasons...all I want is for you to acknowledge that you stepped over the borders. You must have forgotten that we don't work in the same department and you don't have any idea of my job description. R-E-S-P-E-C-T and work E-T-H-I-C-S -- you better google them up.

Eventually, true colors will show and your camouflage faded. What an unpleasant view.

Here's my reply to your back-stabbing, ungrateful, bitter and kiss-ass attitude --- you are trying to drown a fish. You have to get your hands dirty and do all the odds to bring me down. I love my work, I love my work mates (you're not one of them)...and I'm feeling all the love is coming back to me.

So whatever your intentions are, to hell with it! I'm having the time of my life and enjoying this party of which by the way you're not invited.

checked list

I have a biggy secret...shhh. I've always wanted to wear a 2-pc swim suit in a beach. Hahaha.
So before this curves and youth of mine fades...here I go.