if tomorrow starts without me

if tomorrow starts without me
know that i have waited for you until the very end
that i gave every inch of fighting chance
and that i have complete faith in you

if tomorrow starts without me
know that i am thankful to you
that this lifetime made sense
because i shared it with you

if tomorrow starts without me,
feel my love
whenever a smile is painted in your lips
every time you remember the memories we stitched together

if tomorrow starts without me,
take pictures in your heart
picture me out in my best smile
and listen to the echoes of my laughter

if tomorrow starts without me,
take a stop, cry if you must
but walk on afterwards because time will not seize on our whim
go and take hold of life!

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that i believed that there's goodness in every person
that in every bad situation there's a purpose and lesson
and all things will pass, we just need to give time a chance

if tomorrow starts without me,
forgive my stubborness
forgive my tactness
forgive my silly ways

if tomorrow starts without me,
you'll probably miss my bullyness, crankiness
you'll probably miss my surprises, thoughtfulness
if so, then take comfort in the past

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that i have forgiven
i just had a hard time forgetting
so i concealed myself in silence

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that somehow there are things i gave up on and things i decided to let go
i have experienced pain, dessertion, frustation and a lot alike
but these are realities we have to embrace and carry

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that many times i felt broken, i felt less
but then i have learned the art of coping 
to live with the broken pieces and hollow spaces

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that there are mistakes i didn't regret, there are scars i love to look at
my imperfection makes me no different
thus it feels less lonely for not being alone in that sense

if tomorrow starts without me,
trust in our friendship
trust in our sisterhood and brotherhood
trust in our bond!

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that my family and friends are my gravity
in all situations they keep me grounded and reminded of what i want to become
know that i have surrounded myself with dreams for them

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that i never had interest of becoming filthy rich, seriously
having too much would also mean someone else is having less
i'd like to keep my cup half full and pray that for every blessing i am given - i will be favored with a heart that would share and give

if tomorrow starts without me,
burry me in the sands where my heart takes comfort
i shall take root in the land where my story took place
i shall retreat into the embrace of the waves

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that i fear to cling and depend on someone
i will do things on my own as much as i can
i will endure and i will wait as much as i can

 if tomorrow starts without me,
know that i wanted to be acknowledged and needed 
i longed to be seen and touched
so i would know that i was there with you - so i would feel more alive

if tomorrow starts without me,
whisper a prayer for me
or hum my favorite song
that would make me infinite

if tomorrow starts without me,
read my letters
flip the pages
listen to my words

if tomorrow starts without me,
know that i am scared
yet the thought of meeting the people who have gone ahead of me
fills my heart with excitement

they say tomorrow never comes because life starts now
but if in case tomorrow starts without me
know that i lived a life for you
and now my time is up for HE has beckoned me home

(because i could not write a proper poem, i ended up with this - for the people that matters to me)